“Zombie Blog!” — or– “Ahhh! Failed Again!”
Just when you thought it was dead….BAM! The blog that hasn’t had a new post in, uh, well, an awfully long time has one!
Sure–I could list plenty of reasons I haven’t posted in so long. I’m busy–so is everyone else. Work had been intense–as is the nature of work. I already have to do so much writing for seminary assignments and preparing for sermons when I preach (which are most Sundays)–but so do a lot of other people in situations similar to mine.
The fact of the matter is–I just didn’t make it a priority.
Along the lines of why I’m not physically fit, why I procrastinate, and any other aspect of my life where I feel I fail to “live up to expectations,” it’s just because I haven’t made it a priority.
This strikes me as ironic. How does someone who talks about how we need to purposefully seek to be God’s hands and feet in the world fail to be purposeful about so many other important aspects of his life? How does a person who teaches leadership courses to groups of professionals–part of which is emphasizing the criticality of living “intentionally”–not follow his own teachings?
Simply put–because I ain’t perfect.
(And I say “ain’t” to emphasize the imperfection–and because my wife, Kari, hates it when I use that word, but I think it’s great!)
As a human being, I will never be perfect so I may as well get over the disappointment.
Of course, this doesn’t mean I should stop trying to improve myself–but it does mean I should “give myself a little grace,” as some good friends have told me a number of times.
When I recognize my shortcomings and forgive myself, a great weight is lifted from me. When I remind myself of the areas in life where I actually do well instead of where I lack, I find confidence, strength, and hope for tomorrow.
It also reminds me I need to show that same grace to other people–especially those who are closest to me, and those who I love the most.
Unfortunately, when most people are frustrated, the ones who bear the brunt of that frustration are the people they care about that most. It certainly is the case for me.
So when I remind myself that it’s ok that I’m not perfect–I remember that it’s ok that others aren’t perfect as well.
Perfection only comes in the love and forgiveness of God. And just as God forgives me, I must forgive myself–and others, too.
“It ain’t easy.” But it’s worth remembering. Because it’s only in forgiveness that we become whole–as individuals and as humanity.